Conference Weekend

What a wonderful weekend spent listening to the inspired messages of our church leaders. It is so encouraging to know that they are aware of the needs of the members and that they truly love us. I didn't count how many of them shed tender tears, but I was profoundly moved by their open sensitivity. That to me is true manhood.

We enjoyed a huge breakfast and Sunday conference at our house with Sommer and her family as well as Dale and Susan, who had come up Saturday afternoon and spent the night. It's so nice to have family around to share these experiences with!

Hope all of you had a great weekend, too.Love, Mara


Thanks to those who sent the kids' conference packets. They kept the kids super busy. I think mine actually watched 6 of the 8 hours this time~!


Doesn't little Eden look adorable?!

The Gross Bag

Tanner's groovy soccer moves. He's so stinkin' cute in his uniform.

Kate and Tanner horse racin' at the stake activity last month. I cannot believe how much energy is packed into their little bodies!

Tucker and his buddies Preston and Andrew at the line.

Kalli, a horse and a strange man with a mustache.

Now to the topic of this blog post. A little history first. A few weeks ago, while playing on the playground during Tanner's soccer practice, Kalli was pummeled in the head with a plastic Pokemon toy that was thrown by a friend. The Pokemon action figure left a substantial and profusely bloody dent in her upper forehead, requiring a doctor to dermabond it back together in the ER.

Kalli was relatively unphased and rather proud of her war wound.

Last week, while I was at my mom's in Idaho, Kalli's dermabond/scab fell off. Knowing how very much I would want to see the remains, she thoughtfully secured it in a ziploc baggy which she marked "Gross Bag," so that it wouldn't be confused with a school lunch snack. Referencing the above photograph, the scab resides in the lower left corner of the baggy. Kalli initially added a few bloody bandaids to the bag, but then thought better of it and removed them so that the scab could rest in peace.

I love kids and their everlasting humor. It's good to be home!

Ode to Erma

If you haven't heard of Erma Bombeck, she's worth looking into. She's one funny lady. Or she was, as she's dead now. I think she'd appreciate the humor in the fact that the above picture of her that I found on the internet is barcoded. Perhaps posthumously. Maybe they're getting more tech-savvy and streamlining things in the afterlife. Who knows.

I'm still in Idaho assisting in the recuperation of my mom, who seems to be doing a fine job of it on her own. She makes me feel useful by letting me do a few things around the house that she claims she isn't quite up to doing yet, like scooping the cat box which is frequented by her three skiddish, stinky felines, or cleaning out the oven. Things she doesn't like doing anyway, so why not relive the memories of my teen years and do the dirty work for her?? As long as she doesn't ask me to extract toe jam or reseal the toilets, I'll play along.

Back to Erma. My mom used to read her books in the car on roadtrips and we'd laugh until we cried. A few days ago while my mom was resting I climbed into bed beside her and started reading her some Erma. I think it was her book titled, "Family: The Ties That Bind...and Gag." We were laughing obnoxiously until my mom started to double over. I'd forgotten the effects stomach surgery can have on the laugh muscles. We put Erma away and opted for a nap.

I had to "Ode to Erma" tonight, as I appreciate her perspective on motherhood, domestic entrapment and middle-class suburbia. She's very real and hilariously funny. And a great reminder that there is always (okay, not always...but almost always) humor to be found in almost everything if you're really looking for it.

I must make mention of how much I've enjoyed spending time with my mom. She's very Erma-ish. There is a certain amount of gratification in knowing what buttons to push, to be sure. Like innocently turning on the news during the campaign process of the presidential elections. You never know what'll come out of her mouth, but its always colorful. Or unabashedly bringing up the dilemma of border control in our country. That one is sure to light a firecracker under her butt. I also enjoy riding in the car with her when someone cuts her off (explitives excluded).

But in all seriousness, I love my mom. She's an amazingly spiritual, tender-hearted and brilliant woman. And she gave birth to me, so what's not to love? :)

Nite!

Apocalypse Now

When I was 12, I waded through a year-long phase that held me in limbo between complete fascination and utter horror at the thought of a cataclysmic event, such as nuclear war or a global pandemic. Or Geraldine Ferraro becoming Vice President. You get the idea.

As a child, I did not take into account the fact that my parents were way ahead of me on this one. My little slice of reality took for granted the stockpile of wheat germ, canned hominy, toilet paper and inumberable 25-gallon water barrels my parents had amassed from the early days of their marriage. We moved a lot, and one of the unspoken requirements when looking for a new home was a room/basement/garage/shed in which to store this heavenly-mandated loot.

I was often reminded of the bounty in the basement (or room or garage or shed) because I was most often chosen to retrieve some Sunday dinner necessity from the bowels of the house (with my mother hollering from behind me, "And hurry, please! We're almost ready to eat!"). I recall one occasion when the food storage was tucked neatly in the crawl space of our basement-less house in Brighton, Colorado. My mom asked me to go down for a few cans of corn, and being the compliant, sweet child that I was, I rushed quickly to the hole in the floor of the laundry room, threw back the trap door and descended into the darkness. I pulled the lightbulb cord and searched fruitlessly for corn (our food supply at this point was akin to half of Costco's inventory). From the corner of my eye, I caught movement. Slick, meandering movement. Diverting my full attention to the source, I realized I was being stalked by a hognose snake. Yep. A three-footer. I lit out of that hole like a rocket and ran screaming through the house. Fortunately my eldest brother Javan quickly devised a plan; he grabbed a shovel, descended, and chopped that sucker into 463 pieces. He avoided the clean up, however, and ever after the carcass remained a stark reminder that I should give more consideration to peripheral vision.

I digress...

My mother had surgery last week, and I was lucky enough (thanks to Sean and Susan) to be able to take a few days and come over to aid in her recuperation. That really means we get to hang out and do whatever we feel like, which is divine. Anyway, feeling the need to be productive today (at least for a short while), Mom and I decided to do some organizing.

Let me tell you something, this is the place to be in the event of a national emergency.

My parents have enough medication to heal (hallelujah!) the entire population of several third world countries, enough pork and beans to feed all branches of the Armed Services for a decade, enough toilet paper to keep Godzilla feeling fresh for life, and thanks to all that wheat they've held onto since the conception of my eldest brother nearly 40 years ago, enough "bread potential" to sustain the Northern Idaho Panhandle (that is, until they move to Colorado next month).

Kudos, Con and Glo! I love you guys!

Me In Threes

Heather Smith tagged me on this one, and I just have to check it off my list today so I can say that I checked something off the list that I didn't check anything else off on. How's that for confusing?!

Here are the rules: List 3 joys, 3 fears, 3 current obsessions/collections, 3 surprising facts, and then tag 5 other people. Leave a comment for the people you tag so they know they have been tagged.

Three Joys
1. Family, Gospel and Friends (I compiled these into one. It's my blog. I can do that if I want to. :)
2. Chocolate milk
3. Comfortable jeans. Oh, and swings. They really have nothing in common, but I love them equally.

Three Fears
1. Getting stranded on a remote freeway in NM in my underwear
2. Messing up my kids
3. Being trampled by a pack of llamas or eaten by a mountain lion

Three Current Obsessions/Collections
1. Falafel. This is some amazingly good hud.
2. My squished sheep blanket. Heather Mather gave me this amazingly soft and comfy blanket (that looks curiously like a squished sheep) for my birthday and I can't get enough of it. I actually tackled an unnamed child as he/she was leaving my bedroom with it one morning. Hands off. It's mine.
3. The sad state of my feet. They are in desperate need of a pedicure, but I fear the spastic laughing episode that always overtakes me when they try and rub down my peds.

Three Surprising Facts
1. When I can't sleep at night, I write my thoughts out in shorthand on my stomach with my left pointer finger.
2. I like to hide my kids toys sometimes so that I can play the hero when I find them. Please don't tell my kids.
3. I love to type. Love it. Sometimes I'll grab the newspaper and type an article on WordPerfect just for fun.

I wrote this entire blog in less than 10 minutes. Doesn't that just prove how well I know myself?! (Or how tired I am. :)

Nite!

Summer's End

I finally uploaded the pics from our last few weeks of summer. Here you have our life through the eyes of a Canon.

Sweet Tucker, thoroughly enjoying Scout camp. Really. He was thrilled to be there. He's just feigning immense boredom in this picture to throw you off. Silly, silly Tucker.

For some unknown reason, my camera-happy tweener has gone loopy on me and now hides or grimaces during every photo op. She's still beautiful, even when giving me the stink eye. :)

And here is baby Brooklyn (Shelby and Garrett's little girl). So very cute and precocious.

There's a story here. Every time we go to Sunriver, Oregon, the kids and I (and usually Grandma, though she opted out this year) take a trail ride on horseback. Which is great fun for the kids, but without fail, I get a defunct horse. This year's beauty (ha ha) was named Roany, because he was a roan horse (that's the byproduct of a horse and a donkey love fest). This horse stunk, was ugly, had a persistent nasal drip and bad gas. He had also mastered the art of slipping the bit over his horrifically yellow teeth, leaving me with no control. I finally mastered a wrist-flick technique that resituated the bit and totally ticked off the horse. By the end of the ride, we were happy to part ways. Look how pleased I was to dismount!

Kal on a pony named Patches. She informed me that the horse lady told her that Patches had won seven times. When I asked what he'd won, she replied, "Who cares?"

Lots of pool fun...I love Kate's dimples.

Remember the tale of Tucker's too-small bike? Well, we splurged and bought him a too-big bike in Sunriver (apparently he's at that in-between stage :). He wiped out numerous times but was gleeful with the purchase. He said, "Thank you a million times."

Eden attacking Tanner. The girl is hilarious...like a midget beast! Tanner obviously loves it.

I do not know what inspired this expression, but I love it!

Nor do I know what inspired this one, but I'm sure it had to do with a bodily function or an evil plot.

First day of school! Okay, so it was almost a week ago...They were so excited.

And last but not least, Kate and her first day of middle school. I had to hold back a few tears dropping off my big girl. She's such a great kid. She must come from great stock. :)

Cheers! Mara

Signage

I can't sleep, so I thought I'd resort to blogging. I cannot promise what follows will be either coherent or worth your time.

We returned this weekend from an 8-day stint in Sunriver, Oregon (yes, another road trip) for a reunion with Sean's family. We had a fun time and I have pictures to prove it, but since I'm sitting cozy in my bed and feeling far too lazy to drag my bones down them stairs to locate the camera, I'll have to upload and post pictures at a later date.

Which leaves me scrambling mentally for blog material. Here's what I've been mulling over for the past several days: signage.

I have seen some of the most random and bizarre signs recently. Being a sharer, I'm passing these scraps of literary genius on to you. Here goes.

1. Small print at the bottom of an enormous lottery sign on the freeway near Bend, OR:
"The Lottery should not be considered a viable financial investment"

My commentary: Seriously? Is this a necessary precaution? Who would consider the lottery to be anything more than the crap shoot that it is?

2. Petsmart posted notice for customers in search of meal worms to be used as food for reptiles.
"ALERT: There is currently a national shortage of meal worms. Please consult a Petsmart rep regarding alternative reptilian food sources."

My commentary: Again...seriously?! Is this news worthy of an ALERT in all caps printed on flourescent yellow paper? And what exactly is the cause of the national shortage of meal worms? Do we have an excessive population of pillaging reptiles that the government has kept hush-hush about? I smell a cover-up. Or is that leopard gecko dung???

3. A sign posted at a local pet boutique.
"Join us for 'Blessing of the Animals Day'...A variety of blessing ceremonies performed to honor our beloved animals..."

My commentary: It wasn't clear if these blessings were for the living or the dead. But for crying out loud. They're ANIMALS. Find something better to do with your time. (Although I must say I was kinda tempted to go. You could really have some fun with the crowd at this kind of a gig, eh?)

4. Back to Petsmart.
"Sale on Ferret Starter Kits"

My commentary: This piqued my curiosity and I went in for a closer look. Strangely the item turned out to be a cage containing food pellet containers and something akin to a gerbil-maze. I'm confused. Wouldn't a ferret starter kit contain simply a mommy ferret and a daddy ferret, with perhaps some mood music and cocktails???

Now that I have that on paper, my mind is at ease and I'm off to bed. Nite.