Two Minutes

I'm going to see how much I can type in two minutes. A strange challenge, but necessary as I'm on the run again!

Tucker had his 8th birthday party at a local pool this weekend. The kids seemed to enjoy the experience and I only heard the lifeguard scream madly at our group of sixteen two or three times. Such good kids...

Memorial Day the kids, Sean and I spent the morning working on the yard, which was looking a bit trashy. The kids dug in and worked hard; always nice to see. And no one ate any worms. That afternoon we had a party for a friend at the park and played kickball. The crowning moment was the Dairy Queen ice cream cake. Good thinking, Ty.

Driving Tanner to baseball this afternoon, I was thoroughly enjoying the winding rode that passes the beautiful Snoqualmie Falls. The trees almost completely cover the road in certain spots and if you go fast enough you can get the Indy 500 Fantasy going. Then I looked ahead of me and saw one of those ghastly lime green Honda Elements and the experience was totally ruined because those cars remind me of OB Tampon boxes.

I'm out.


Boys and balls at Tuck's party





Sweet Tuck is 8!

Quirks

I've been tagged a few more times, so here goes. The rules are as follows:

1. Link the person who tagged you
2.Post these rules
3.Tell about six unspectacular quirks about yourself
4.Tag six fellow bloggers by link

1. I am a gum snob. I am more likely to give you a vital organ than my last piece of gum. Freud would probably blame my mother who, when spurred by a gum craving, would go to her purse in vain, finding only an empty pack of gum and countless wrappers. She would fly into a fit of innocuous (Mormon) expletives and swear vengeance, which never came to pass. I carry on the tradition and breed fear into my offspring, who know that depending on my mood, asking for gum could be potentially fatal.


2. I am a bleeding heart. A gushing, spurting, bloody mess. I can be suckered into any good cause. Cases in point: When I was twelve, I played mother duck to eight lost and distressed ducklings that lived on our property. I was beside myself with worry that they couldn't find their mother. I quacked my way, arms flapping, from the barn to the pond. They followed me, so I must have made one great duck! I was once talked into helping the "March of Dimes" by canvassing several neighborhoods and begging for donations (which is not my forte to begin with) while nine months pregnant. I literally cannot pass a homeless person without donating something, which sometimes amounts to little more than a few pennies and some pocket fuzz. Last summer I bought several magazine subscriptions from an inner-city African American boy who claimed to be a recovering drug addict. He bled me dry after showing me pictures of his two illegitimate children and his crippled mother on a park bench. Below is a picture of a recent bleeding heart scheme that I fell victim to. I found this shirt in a store and the tag said, "Proceeds from your purchase will be donated to end hunger in Africa by the year 2025." How could I not buy it?! What if my purchase was that last $20 they needed to end world hunger??!!! So if you want sympathy (or want to see my great duck impression or need a buck or two) I'm your gal!



3. I have a hate-hate relationship with my alarm clock. Truthfully it borders on a homicidal bias; I loathe the thing. Here's what happens every morning in my bedroom. Depending on the morning, I vary the time I set for the alarm to go off. Predictably it goes off right on time, and I, in a hazy stupor, fling my left arm over my body and pound the bedside table with surprising force until I pummel the snooze button. This is the part where most people go back to sleep, or at least doze dreamily. But not me, oh no. This is the part where I lay silently fuming, admittedly not completely conscious, but definitely not peacefully tugging myself from sleep. I smolder. I seethe. I think of all the ways I could decimate the thing. Once again, I'm sure Freudian theorists would have a field day analyzing my quasi-cognizant reactive state. The snooze-button bashing goes on for quite some time most mornings, which is completely counter-productive since I rarely go back to sleep. I probably need therapy but it's a great way to expel some pent-up aggression every day! Kudos to Sean who is either very patient during my morning ritual or is off running somewhere.

4. To coin the old Lays potato chip phrase, "no one can eat just one...," well, I can't eat just one of anything. Even if I don't like it. The sad truth is that I usually eat ALL of whatever it is I'm eating. For example, Frito Lay came out with these Flat Earth Cinnamon Apple chips and they don't sell them in the snack size, so I buy the big bag. And eat the whole thing. In one sitting. I don't need to be hungry, depressed or bored, I just keep eating because that's what I do. Mind you, I don't do it every day, but I've been known to pack in large amounts of food in one sitting and raise some eyebrows. So if anyone is up for an eating contest, I say, "Bring it on!"

5. Quite contrary to my language-loving nature, there are specific words in the English language that I despise. (Again, the negativity thing...I obviously have issues). I won't provide an exhaustive list, but here are a few to give you an idea: side dish, sophistry, felicitous, slice, spandex, hemmroid (I won't eat Altoids because they conjure up that word in my head), scrotum and testicle (yes, I went there!), and plush (an aside: my son purchased this freaky "plush" rendition of Edgar Martinez during the garage sale last week. How drunk did Edgar have to be in order to agree to that gig??? Notice the "WalMart" logo on the freaky bear's paw. That explains A LOT). I could go on, but I won't. Suffice it to say that you won't hear me use these words voluntarily. Although I did have to use "side dish" in an email yesterday and fell victim to a migraine shortly thereafter.

6. I will close with a phrase that I repeat in my head almost daily; usually when I've completed something difficult. I borrow the phrase from the '90s movie, "Pig in the City," and it was spoken by the pensive Scottish farmer who owned Pig. After Pig had saved the city, the farmer said, "That'll do, Pig. That'll do." I love that phrase.

So I'm going to tag Sara Holdman, Keslie Houser, Sydney Young, Michelle Taylor, Tami Smith and Shelby Steele. Inspire me, ladies.

See ya!

Growing Up = Freaking Out

I've had several alarming reminders the past few days that my Katelyn is growing up. Which means that I, subsequently, am freaking out.

A few nights ago Kate and I took the dog for a walk and as we were talking, she slipped her hand into mine. Something felt strange, and I pulled our interlocked hands up for a better look; her hands are almost the same size as mine.

I found Kate rummaging through my drawers on Sunday. When I asked what she could possibly be looking for, she said she needed to borrow a camisole to go under her dress. I snickered and said, "Sweetie, it won't fit." Alas, it did.

This past weekend a friend of mine asked if she could "hire" Katelyn to be her Mother's Helper once a week; essentially to come to her house and entertain her daughter and do some menial chores. That sounds suspiciously a lot like a job to me. Kate happily accepted.

Yesterday Katelyn drowned herself in a book for hours. She found me in the kitchen before bed, her eyes twinkling (and she has very twinkly eyes to begin with!), and rattled off the plot and some funny lines from the book. "You have to read it, Mom," she said. So when she went to bed I picked it up and flipped through it. It looked intriguing. It's a strange thing when your kid asks you to read a book that you might actually get into!

Last night I went to take the dog out to the bathroom and it had rained, so I slipped on a pair of shoes in the dark garage. I didn't notice until I was outside that I was wearing Kate's new flip flops and they fit.

I know, I know, you're thinking, "Get over it. Kids grow up every day," and you're correct. But not my kids! It serves as a sobering reminder to me that my time with them is short and that I only get one chance. It also serves as a reminder, on those days when I feel sudden urges to wring a neck or two, that they're necks won't always be within such close wringing proximity!!

Little Wonders

He's here! Sommer and Ben's little wonder, Talmage Allen Reynolds. He's beautiful! Mom, sibs and baby are doing fine. Jury's still out on Ben. :) Talmage shares Tucker's birthday, May 16th, which made Tuck very happy. His "best gift," he said.

Blazes! We've had some hot weather and although it does feel strangely nice to sweat behind my knees for the first time in a long time, I can honestly say I couldn't live with this kind of heat for more than a few consecutive days. I am always amazed at how drastically the weather can fluctuate from one day to the next. Kind of like my moods. Mother Nature is a fickle lass, eh?!

Grandma Susan is in town for three weeks and although she's staying at Sommer's we get to see her often and enjoy her humor and energy. Chances are good that she and Dale will be joining us permanently here in the NW within the next several months, which we're very excited about.

This weekend was the community garage sale, which I usually avoid for two reasons. One, I spend money on stuff I don't need and that seems to fill corners of my house that I'd rather leave empty, and two, because I have this weird sense of intrusion when I dig through other people's "stuff."


Katelyn thought it would be a fantastic idea to hold our very OWN garage sale in order to purge our home of the many, many items we don't need, use, want or care about. Thinking that perhaps this would serve the additional purpose of teaching my progeny the finer dealings of commerce and monetary value, I conceded. (May I add here that digging through other people's stuff is uncomfortable: other people digging through my stuff is excruciating!!)


I procrastinated the unpleasant task of systematically sorting through our junk all week and paid for it. I had to shock myself into action with some Def Leppard and Van Halen cranked way too high on my I-Pod and powered through until 2am Saturday morning to stack and price everything.


The sale itself was marginal, but what I loved is that my kids and I spent the entire morning hanging out in the garage together. We ate breakfast on a tablecloth on the garage floor, played card games and listened to music. We ruminated about the weather, shared stories about school and visited with garage salers. My kids will probably vaguely remember the experience, and I'm not sure my educational purposes for holding it were attained, but I won't forget the sheer comfort of their nearness, innocence and ease.

Have a great week! Mara


The Week in Pics:





















Kalli's field trip with Dad on Thursday to the Seattle Children's Theatre


















Tucker & Logan at school on Tuck's bday




















Two Prom-bound Laurels in our ward. Such fun girls...



















Kids in a realtor's golf cart while we were house shopping with Grandma Susan this afternoon. Qualified as the "thrill" of their week.














Kalli and Tucker attempting to dig up the mammoth tree stump in our backyard.

Box Office

What a beautiful weather day! I know the Northwest gets a grunt rap for our insidious weather conditions nine months out of 12, but no one can say that we don't know how to thoroughly enjoy a sunny warm day. I threw the ball with Tucker for so long today that I threw out my left shoulder. Kalli crawled all over me until it popped back in. She's mighty handy to have around.

I previously mentioned we've been in the process of repainting various rooms in our house and I can say I am happy with it overall, but the color we chose for the playroom-"slash"-entertainment room, which is aptly named "Baseball Mitt," is downright delish (and seasonally appropriate) . It's so warm and earthy; it makes me want to drop into the fetal position and suck my thumb.

Check out Tucker's killer African mask he made in school (see below). I visited his 2nd grade class as a guest speaker a few weeks ago and told the kids about some of the experiences we had as a family living in Zambia, Africa when I was their age. I gave the kids a chance to ask me questions and one kid actually asked me if I had black skin when I lived there. Are you kidding me?! Poor little culturally daft child.

Here is where I end, simply to prove that I can write less than 500 lines in one post. See ya!




The kids and their "box offices" at breakfast. Seriously, who didn't do this as a kid?!

Cheesy Pink

Tanner's 10th Birthday...10 days ago. I'm not so great with birthday pictures. :)

Kate's beloved reading companions.

Kalli Scissorface

Happy Mother's Day! (I'm mostly congratulating myself here; the rest of you seem to have this parenting thing figured out and therefore should be celebrated daily. Although I do feel I must pat my own back once a year for hanging in there!).

As I was sitting on the couch being showered with love (literally...do they have to toss their gifts at me?! Curses on baseball), I thought smugly that I pulled the day off without receiving one predominately pink ANYTHING. Horray! Not a big lover of pink. It's embarrassing that it's even related to the color red.

So after receiving lots of wonderful handmade petit objet d'art, I lastly opened my card from Sean. And there it was. A cheesy pink card. But he more than made up for it in the verbage and the simple fact that he's painted (and repainted) numerous rooms in my home. And he's not done yet!

Last week was a blurry one, even with my contacts in. Lots more basball and oversized cups (another boy on an opposing team had the same "issue" as the previously mentioned boy on Tanner's team. Laura Clarke, I need to let you loose on this league and set these parents straight!). After the Friday night game, we decided on a whim to pack up the kids and take them to a hotel in Tacoma for the night so we could see Sean run his half marathon early Saturday morning.

It was so fun! The kids and I missed the start but saw Sean at the 1 and 2 mile marks and again at the finish. He took first and set a course record. Speedy quick, that guy. We had to wait around afterward to get his award, so my kids voluntarily descended on the runner's expo.

I must make an aside here. My "kids at an expo" theory is as follows: if you ask nicely and they say yes, you may take any freebie offered. I always maintain a safe but substantial distance in case anyone asks, "Who's kids are those?" at which point I would shrug and look slightly confused.

My kids took a particular liking to the Parker Paint booth where they each finagled eight different paint palettes. They then descended on a poor chiropractor who looked slightly confused himself and managed to come away with 12 logo-laden pens. We settled on the hard floor and waited for the awards ceremony. This was apparently a "warm fuzzy" race, as they gave awards for the top five runners in every age category for both genders. It took FOREVER to get to the overall winners, and the kids were getting restless, so I had them pull out their Parker Paint "Comfort and Charm" palette and their new pens and number their favorite colors from 1 to 20. Hey, we use the junk we take!

Random interjection: I saw a building in downtown Tacoma called the "Mork Building" which immediately made me think of "Mork and Mindy," which was hands-down one of the best sitcoms that has ever aired, which made me think of Robin Williams, which made me think of my dad because Robin Williams has always reminded me of Dad, which made me think of the time that I watched a "Mork and Mindy" episode with my Dad while I was wearing my "Mork and Mindy" pajamas and what a great experience that was.

Tonight we had a delish Mother's Day feast of Papa Murphy's pizza (its take and bake, purchased yesterday; no Sabbath-breaking) at the home of some friends. Got spanked at Pirate's Dice twice but maintained my composure. Why does it seem that boys always win at that game? Good company and great laughs.

Well, Happy Mother's Day! I know so many fantastic mothers and appreciate your courageous, quiet examples. Although now that I think about it, some of you are rather loud and so scratch the "quiet" part. Thank you, nonetheless! Love ya- Mara

PS: The screwy spacing on Blogspot drives me crazy. Heather, I know you've got issues with this too. Maybe we can start a support group! :)

The Man Cup and Other Tales

I mentioned in a previous post that Tanner's Minor League requires that he wear a protective cup to his baseball games. Fair enough. I'm sure even pre-pubescents feel the need to safeguard their privates. There happens to be one boy on Tanner's team (who will remain nameless) who apparently shops in the "big boys" section of Joe's Sports. This kid's cup is, umm...way too large. I have to get up and take a walk every time this kid is at bat because I bust up laughing. I was sitting by his mother at yesterday's game and had to go a long way off in order to not arouse suspicion.

I love Tucker's latest verbal oddity. He frequently includes the word "slash" in his sentences. For example, today he was talking about a trip we took two summers ago: "Remember when we went to Utah-slash-Colorado?" And dinner plans went like this: "So we're having enchiladas-slash-corn?"

Kalli informed me last week that she's afraid to go upstairs because of the Thriller music video we showed her online. The site also included current photos of Michael Jackson. I said, "Are you afraid because of the scary monsters and Michael Jackson's yellow werewolf eyes in the video?" She replied, "No, that's just pretend. I'm scared of the picture of his normal face."

Today I shopped for Mother's Day cards. I should know better and just make them at home, because I always end up sniveling. Granted, there are some painfully cheesy cards out there but occasionally I'll come across one that makes me go soft and weepy. At best I should take Kleenex with me. I love my Mom and my mother-in-law.

The weather is blah today and I'm dying for some warmth. My friend Rachel just got back from Cabo and brought me a bag of sand from the beach. I think I'll go heat it up in the microwave and stick my face in it. See ya!

This is what happens at my house when we consume sugar and turn the music up too loud...
...and this is Kalli's latest invention, soon to be released as, "Foot Binding for Dummies."
These are my sisters and my mother. I love them, but am not sure where they are...WHERE ARE YOU PEOPLE? CALL ME ALREADY!

Tagged!

I've been tagged. Watch out; you're next!

10 Years Ago:
* I was giving birth to my second child and simultaneously watching a Utah Jazz playoff game between contractions.

Things on my to do list Monday:

* Help with the 4th grade WASL "Waffle Party." It's a sacrifice, as I think it is completely ridiculous to be celebrating the end of a test that every child in the state of Washington has to take. When in life do you get praised and fed waffles for being "tested?" Whatever.

* I also need to get a life on Monday, if I haven't done so before then.

What would I do if I suddenly had a billion dollars --
* Attempt to end world hunger
* Fund my parent's and in-law's missions

* Get a pedicure and a manicure at the same visit and not feel guilty. Wait, I hate manicures. Scratch that.

* Hire a nanny for my dog. Taking him out to pee at 11pm bites.

Three of my bad habits -
* I am a crazed rambler. Especially after 10pm and while watching infomercials. My sisters can all attest to this.
* I drive too fast but hate driving with other people who drive too fast.

* I pull Sean's leg hairs with my toes while he's sleeping. Its fascinating to me that he never wakes up. I also like to throw away his crossword puzzles before he's finished them; that's my passive-aggressiveness getting the better of me. Hey, its tough to get Sean's goat!

Places I have lived:
Colorado, Connecticut, Australia, Africa, South Korea, Utah, Wyoming, Washington, and in a cardboard box under an I-5 overpass. Just kidding about the box. Wanted to see if you were paying attention.

Jobs I have had:
* Child slave (my mom worked me way too hard)
* Teen slave (see above parenthetical reference)
* Restaurant hostess
* Wendy's fast food for two days before my sister-in-law fired me for being mouthy. I like to call it "quick-witted." We're still friends. :)
* Admin at an insurance agency
* Property Management
* Mortgage loan processor, officer, underwriter and eventually owned my own brokerage

Five Things (most)People don’t know about me:
* I like to read several books at once, preferrably before bed. It makes for some crazy dreams.
* Once, as a teenager, I hit a dog, drove off and got caught, as the license plate apparently became embedded in its lifeless body. Sidenote: The dog belong to some people in our ward. Attending that ward was never quite the same after that.
*My picture was taken when I was 8 and used in an informational brochure for an Australian botanical garden. How's that for fame and stardom?
* I sometimes, just for old times sake, pull out my "Buns of Steel 1 starring Greg" video tape. You may laugh, but it kicks your butt.
* I once dated two brothers and a cousin at the same time. I eventually got caught and dumped by all three in the same day.

Sadly, most of you probably know this stuff about me because I can't ever keep my mouth shut. Although I don't think I've ever admitted to the "Buns of Steel" thing.

The first boy I intentionally kissed:
* Kissing Curtis in Kindergarten was a total accident. I'm glad they added the "intentionally kissed." Eric Jackson was my first intentional smooch. And not a very good one, I might add. He was a really sloppy kisser. I think that's why I broke it off.

5 favorite links I visit often….
* my email
* goodreads.com
* msn.com (but not that often)
* Blogs. I'm a blog stalker, so beware.

Who am I going to tag?
Becca. You're it! Send me some funnies. And of course anyone else who wants to play too!