Die Deutsche Diaries -- Day Four

Part I - Afternoon at the Hamburgmuseum
(Yes that's all one word. Germans are painfully practical; why waste a perfectly good "space" between words if you can get your point across equally as well by mooshing the two words together? Isn't this obvious to anyone but the Germans?)

I'm admittedly embarrassed by the poor quality of my pictures, but there are three factors to take into consideration: 1) my fingers are permanently numb due to the cold and I had trouble adjusting the settings on my little Sony Cyper-shot point and shoot, 2) I have no editing software on my notebook computer and 3) I rarely get a good shot of anything. :)

After a reflective morning at the Neuengamme Concentration Camp museum and memorial (which I'm still mentally digesting; I'll write about it later), we opted for some comic relief at the Hamburgmuseum. Since the chances of you getting here before the next big catastrophe to wipe out much of Hamburg hits (they're about due, I believe), I thought I'd give you a sampling of some of the sites I enjoyed today myself.

This headless statue is what is referred to in museum circles as "spot fillers." The dialogue surrounding placement of such specimens goes something like this:
Otto the Curator: "Again?! You knocked the head off of another perfectly good nameless 15th century statue, Wilhelm? Okay, okay. Let's see. There's an open space we need to fill between Useless Pottery from the Gothic Era and Empty Snuff Cans from the Haseatic Pirate Fleets of the 1600s. Just stick it there."

Here's a fun little piece from the WWII showcase. As mommies, don't we often wonder what we, along with our offspring, would look like wearing coordinating gas masks and matching pumps?

First male cross dresser, circa 1490. I think the extensions are a bit much, but to each their own.

It's a little known fact that pygmy hippos roamed the streets of Nazi Germany until an unfortunate outbreak of West Elbe Virus wiped them out completely. Long live their memory.

Who says European artists and musicians never had any fun? Look at this silly little bloke. They say he was a hoot, telling jokes while pounding out a mean concerto on the clavier.

Here's another little known fact (a serious one this time). Carl Philipp Emanuel Bach was Sabastian's son. Carl composed one of my favorite pieces, "Solfegietto," but now when I play it I'll have the visual of his not-so-comely portrait in my head.

This here is the first runner-up in the 1346 Ms. Hamburg pageant. She slipped into first place when the winner contracted the bubonic plague and died suddenly.

(I obviously just made that up. Don't go spreading rumors; pageant queens hate that sort of thing).

I think every modern nation claims to have invented the scuba suit.

It's a little too soon yet, but when Kate draws closer to her 16th birthday, I'm going to start watching eBay auctions for this little beauty. Wouldn't she just like smashing on Prom night bedecked in layers of rose organza???

I'd put money on the fact that at some point in the long history of this massive apothecary wall unit someone has said something like this: "I know it's in here somewhere..."

An early souvenir speciman from Disneyland, dated 1491. They sure have come a long way with their design schemes and color pallets, eh?

What wouldn't you give to have this sassy little chap adorning your fireplace? Look at the hand on his hip and the flirtatious belly shirt. Mmm, mmm, good.

Ancient Pop Tart. This ain't no replica, honey. This here is the real deal.

Those goofy Romantic Era wood carvers. So playful and yet so skilled.

This one is titled "Fun with Skulls and Spikes."

What kind of deformity must you have to warrant armor like this? Or could it be that they actually sent pregnant women into battle?? I smell a cover up...

While admitting that my German is very spotty, I think I have this translation down (see verbage above statue): "Statue of a sitting guy who is cranky because he has syphilis."

And lastly, I have always loved the thought of having my own family crest. I do believe my family's would look something like this one, which I believe depicts the higher owl playing a practical joke on the lower owl by doo-dooing on his head. My boys would so totally have been into that if they had been born as owls with family crests.